I picked up a copy of "Webster's New World Dictionary" and a copy of "Webster's New World Thesaurus" yesterday morning. (I call them "Webster's Dic" and "Webster's dinosaur")
So, please join me as I grab Webster's Dic and let's take a look. *snicker*
Define:
fag- to make or become very tired by hard work
fagot or faggot - a bundle of sticks
I realize that these two words are not part of the subject, but I have two teenagers that seem to enjoy referring to each other as "a bundle of sticks".
Define:
Nimrod - a mighty hunter (Don't call Allen that one, Sheila!)
But, enough about that for now. My mind is wandering - and as long as it stays off the train tracks and away from fast flowing rivers, I'm just going to let it do it's thing.
"I just saved $700 by switching my auto insurance to Gei..."
Wait...no. My bad. That was the wandering mind of somebody else.
So. About that Cadillac speaker I need to get fixed.
I checked with Best Buy in Willmar, and they recommended that I get the factory speaker. That surprised me, but I was fine with that.
I swung by a salvage yard down in Marshall yesterday in hopes they had a wrecked Cadillac so I could replace my rattling subwoofer. No luck.
So then I went to a car dealership, and the parts guy tells me that this particular speaker costs $464.03. He tells me it's a Bose system. (I question how it could be since it says ACDelco on the speaker. Whatever.) So then I ask him how much it would cost me to have them put it in right away. He tells me it would probably be a 1 to 2 hour process at $70 an hour.
My. @$$! The Best Buy guy said if I picked a speaker up, he'd put it in for $15!
So, today I like Best Buy. And I'm calling other salvage yards in hopes they've got a wrecked car for me to pirate parts off of.
But how does this all tie in with the subject, you might ask?
The Geek Squad! Best Buy has their fleet of VW Bugs and all their technology savvy employees who make up this crack team of folks who can either fix your technology problems, or install some new stuff for you. (It's quite fantastic, provided you have the money.)
It's funny how the meanings of words change over time.
Webster's New World Dic defines 'geek' as: [slang] a person considered to be different from others in a negative way, as in being socially awkward.
But what about the old meaning of 'geek'? As memory serves, the old meaning of 'geek' is:
someone who bites the heads off of live chickens and performs other unusual acts at a circus.
(I don't have Webster's "Old School" Dic *snicker* in front of me, so I might not be exactly right on the definition.)
So now, I'm thinking about how the interview would go for someone who's applying for a job at Best Buy to be on The Geek Squad using both meanings.
"Well, young man...It looks like you are truly a technology savvy individual. You're obviously socially awkward, so you should fit right in... provided, that is, on this one last thing. How sharp are your teeth?"
But, it could be worse... They could have been called "The Dork Squad", and while neither "Webster's Dic" or "The dinosaur" has an entry for 'dork', one of the definitions found online is... a whale's penis. Even I can't think of how THAT would have made for a good interview!
Oh, and one last thing...Webster's Dic has a definition for 'Webster'. (Serious!)
Webster Noah: 1758-1843; U.S. lexicographer.
Hmmm...all right. I'll bite.
lexicography: the act, art, or work of writing a dictionary.
I say Webster made that shit up. Dork.
:)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Annoying
My Lincoln is in storage. It's a nice day...and my Lincoln is in storage, 35 miles away, and uninsured.
And that's just the start!
One of the guys I work with was browsing through the Hy-Vee Trader (Hy-Vee is a grocery store chain in my region. The "Trader" is a "classifieds" type deal.) and he told me there was a 1950's Lincoln Capri in there that I should buy. Neither one of us knew what a Lincoln Capri looked like - but thanks to eBay, we now know that they are rather unattractive vehicles that don't appear to have anything applied to prevent rust.
Anyway...a couple days later I'm sitting in the break room at the 2nd job and there's another copy of the Hy-Vee trader on the table. I flip through it - and what do I find? 5 spots below the Capri, there's a "For Sale" ad for a 1978 Lincoln Continental...everything works...$500!"
Dammit! Mine's a 1979 and I need some parts!
I'm thinking, "I BOUGHT THE CAR FROM YOU, YOU REJECT!!! WHY WOULD YOU NOT TELL ME THERE'S ONE FOR SALE FOR ONLY $500!!!"
And (of course) the car has been sold when I call about it. Ugh. Some people.
Oh well. Let's talk GM.
Why is that cars made by the same company are set up totally different on the dash? On my Buick I need to pull the lever toward me to turn the brights on. On the Cadillac it's just the opposite. If I try to turn the radio station on the Cadillac by hitting the same spot where it's located in the Buick - I'm greeted by some weirdness from the AC unit.
But best of all (and you'll like this one) is the interior lighting. Not the dome light...the lights by the front window.
Here's the scenario...
I'm driving down the road and chowing down on a pack of "fun sized" candy bars. There's 8 of these candy bars in the pack. I only counted 7 but the pack seems to be empty. (Oh, knock it off... you've done it, too!) So where is the missing 8th candy bar?
Well, when I'm in the Buick (1997. The year is important to the story.) I just hit the button that turns the light on and I find and devour the would-be escape artist candy bar. However, if I'm driving the Cadillac and I hit the same spot...the voice of the OnStar lady starts talking to me!
It can be a little unnerving to be driving down the road... all by yourself...in the middle of the dark, dark night... and then have somebody start talking to you!
I mean, seriously! It could actually CAUSE the accident!
At least she doesn't ask for the candy bar. :)
I don't have OnStar activated as of now, which is probably good because I lose a lot of candy bars and they'd probably get tired of answering my pseudo-distress calls.
But can you imagine how the call would go?
OnStar: "OnStar Emergency. Can we help you?"
Me: "Oops. It's just me. Sorry. Lost the 8th candy bar again. So, how have you been? Done anything fun since Tuesday? Hey! There's a smiley face in the frost on that sign up ahead!" :)
And that's just the start!
One of the guys I work with was browsing through the Hy-Vee Trader (Hy-Vee is a grocery store chain in my region. The "Trader" is a "classifieds" type deal.) and he told me there was a 1950's Lincoln Capri in there that I should buy. Neither one of us knew what a Lincoln Capri looked like - but thanks to eBay, we now know that they are rather unattractive vehicles that don't appear to have anything applied to prevent rust.
Anyway...a couple days later I'm sitting in the break room at the 2nd job and there's another copy of the Hy-Vee trader on the table. I flip through it - and what do I find? 5 spots below the Capri, there's a "For Sale" ad for a 1978 Lincoln Continental...everything works...$500!"
Dammit! Mine's a 1979 and I need some parts!
I'm thinking, "I BOUGHT THE CAR FROM YOU, YOU REJECT!!! WHY WOULD YOU NOT TELL ME THERE'S ONE FOR SALE FOR ONLY $500!!!"
And (of course) the car has been sold when I call about it. Ugh. Some people.
Oh well. Let's talk GM.
Why is that cars made by the same company are set up totally different on the dash? On my Buick I need to pull the lever toward me to turn the brights on. On the Cadillac it's just the opposite. If I try to turn the radio station on the Cadillac by hitting the same spot where it's located in the Buick - I'm greeted by some weirdness from the AC unit.
But best of all (and you'll like this one) is the interior lighting. Not the dome light...the lights by the front window.
Here's the scenario...
I'm driving down the road and chowing down on a pack of "fun sized" candy bars. There's 8 of these candy bars in the pack. I only counted 7 but the pack seems to be empty. (Oh, knock it off... you've done it, too!) So where is the missing 8th candy bar?
Well, when I'm in the Buick (1997. The year is important to the story.) I just hit the button that turns the light on and I find and devour the would-be escape artist candy bar. However, if I'm driving the Cadillac and I hit the same spot...the voice of the OnStar lady starts talking to me!
It can be a little unnerving to be driving down the road... all by yourself...in the middle of the dark, dark night... and then have somebody start talking to you!
I mean, seriously! It could actually CAUSE the accident!
At least she doesn't ask for the candy bar. :)
I don't have OnStar activated as of now, which is probably good because I lose a lot of candy bars and they'd probably get tired of answering my pseudo-distress calls.
But can you imagine how the call would go?
OnStar: "OnStar Emergency. Can we help you?"
Me: "Oops. It's just me. Sorry. Lost the 8th candy bar again. So, how have you been? Done anything fun since Tuesday? Hey! There's a smiley face in the frost on that sign up ahead!" :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Signs
It's that time of the year here in MN where all of the road signs accumulate a heavy dose of frost overnight. For those of you who live is Southern states, you probably haven't experienced the annoyance of driving down the road at night and not being able to read the signs.
Well, I tend to not pay attention to signs anyway and have been known to miss a turn now and then...at least until I've made the trip a couple times. But since I drive the 30 or so miles between jobs twice a night and have done so for 3 years now, (I really need to replace the subwoofer in the Cadillac. And the tires. Then it'll be good for winter driving.) I have no need to follow the signs as the cars know the way well enough to let me take short naps while driving past small towns and over small animals. (This was an attempt at humor and I don't do either of these. Intentionally.) :)
So as I was driving down the road and noticing that the reflectiveness of all of the signs was seriously diminished by the frost build-up, it came to me that I should go buy some non-stick cooking spray and stop and draw smiley faces, peace signs, and little flowers, and write "I *heart* Chad" on various signs that I pass on the way home in the morning.
Who knows? Maybe the frost won't stick! And it can't be considered destruction of property as it's clear!
Welcome to Highway 23 from Marshall to Granite Falls, my personal morning ego boost! :)
Well, I tend to not pay attention to signs anyway and have been known to miss a turn now and then...at least until I've made the trip a couple times. But since I drive the 30 or so miles between jobs twice a night and have done so for 3 years now, (I really need to replace the subwoofer in the Cadillac. And the tires. Then it'll be good for winter driving.) I have no need to follow the signs as the cars know the way well enough to let me take short naps while driving past small towns and over small animals. (This was an attempt at humor and I don't do either of these. Intentionally.) :)
So as I was driving down the road and noticing that the reflectiveness of all of the signs was seriously diminished by the frost build-up, it came to me that I should go buy some non-stick cooking spray and stop and draw smiley faces, peace signs, and little flowers, and write "I *heart* Chad" on various signs that I pass on the way home in the morning.
Who knows? Maybe the frost won't stick! And it can't be considered destruction of property as it's clear!
Welcome to Highway 23 from Marshall to Granite Falls, my personal morning ego boost! :)
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Hunter
Yesterday, as I was cleaning any residual blood and hair off of the venison that was to be taken in for processing, I was thinking I should grab the "junk trumpet" and sound it as David returned home from school, and then further embarrass him by proudly proclaiming that "The victorious hunter has returned home!" (or something like that) for anyone within hearing distance to hear.
Thankfully, I didn't go out of my way to make these preparations as the brat cut across the neighbors lawn again so I didn't see him coming. I've told him about 43 times now to stop doing that. How can I kick the neighbors' dog for being on my lawn when my kids are on theirs? :)
So anyway, Todd was highly impressed with David's mad hunting skills - and David took the camera to school to show his friends the pictures that had been taken. But there's more to this hunting story that I wanted to share...
On Sunday, David shot the deer at about 9:15am. I was not called until shortly after noon. I found out the reason for this was because the deer was on the opposite side of a river, and Steve had to take the 4wheeler home (MN has restrictions on what hours a 4 wheeler can be used for hunting purposes) to get the duck boat so as to cross the river and retrieve the deer. So for 3 hours the kid didn't get to see his "kill".
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
I can't begin to express my appreciation for how much Art and Steve did to make this a memorable experience for David. When Steve brought the deer in for registration, he drove his truck to several of David's friends' places so they could "ooooohhhhh" and "aahhhhhh" over said dead thing. (I didn't know they'd be doing this, so I went out to Steve's a little earlier than necessary.)
So, as I'm sitting in Steve's parent's yard (deer was skinned there) just outside the small town of Hanley Falls, I was able to enjoy being stared at by the occupants of nearly every vehicle that passed as I was in a car they didn't recognize.
I just love that.
After a bit of waiting, Steve drives in with his truck.
David gets out of the passenger seat.
David is wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of sandals. It's the middle of November in MN. The only state further North is Alaska, and I was cold with my work boots, jeans, t-shirt, flannel, hoodie, and hat on. And he didn't even bring anything warmer with him! (Of course, being as he at the All-Knowing-Teenager age, he argued with me about the temperature... so I waited until he was visibly shivering before I gave him the winter coat I had in the car.)
I found out that Steve had David take care of at least half of the gutting process (Steve tells me there was some "eeeewwwww"ing), and David was there during the entire skinning and deboning process. And while they were deboning it, Art told David the story about how Native Americans used to eat the heart out of their kills. Raw. But, as the heart was left out in the woods with the rest of the innards, Art sliced off some raw steak and both he and David had a chunk. (David said that Art had cut off 4 slices and that all 4 of them had a piece as it was tradition for them to do so when a new hunter made his first kill. Steve told me that neither he or his dad did so, and both thought it was "just disgusting" but were able to hide it from David!)
They made it a full "hunting camp" experience!
And when I arrived to work yesterday, Steve had pictures here and had already shown several people the pictures of David with his deer. (He gave them to me. I gave them to David.)
Plus, David had the camera with him - so maybe sometime I'll get some pictures on here to go along with the story. (Sheila would love to show me how to do so. Right, sis?)
I wish I could have Steve tell the story. He's a natural jokester. Among a list of other things, he told David that the deer David shot was the huge one he'd been trying to get ever since the bowhunting season had started. David, of course, believed him - as I'd told him all about this (actual) monster deer that Steve has caught on his camera, and that if it should happen to come along to let Steve take it!
Of course, Steve told him he was just kidding about that. But he never told him that he was joking when he said that MN now requires kids to take their driving tests with a manual transmission car. :)
Happy 15th Birthday, David! The "driving age" milestone is coming up soon!
Thankfully, I didn't go out of my way to make these preparations as the brat cut across the neighbors lawn again so I didn't see him coming. I've told him about 43 times now to stop doing that. How can I kick the neighbors' dog for being on my lawn when my kids are on theirs? :)
So anyway, Todd was highly impressed with David's mad hunting skills - and David took the camera to school to show his friends the pictures that had been taken. But there's more to this hunting story that I wanted to share...
On Sunday, David shot the deer at about 9:15am. I was not called until shortly after noon. I found out the reason for this was because the deer was on the opposite side of a river, and Steve had to take the 4wheeler home (MN has restrictions on what hours a 4 wheeler can be used for hunting purposes) to get the duck boat so as to cross the river and retrieve the deer. So for 3 hours the kid didn't get to see his "kill".
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
I can't begin to express my appreciation for how much Art and Steve did to make this a memorable experience for David. When Steve brought the deer in for registration, he drove his truck to several of David's friends' places so they could "ooooohhhhh" and "aahhhhhh" over said dead thing. (I didn't know they'd be doing this, so I went out to Steve's a little earlier than necessary.)
So, as I'm sitting in Steve's parent's yard (deer was skinned there) just outside the small town of Hanley Falls, I was able to enjoy being stared at by the occupants of nearly every vehicle that passed as I was in a car they didn't recognize.
I just love that.
After a bit of waiting, Steve drives in with his truck.
David gets out of the passenger seat.
David is wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of sandals. It's the middle of November in MN. The only state further North is Alaska, and I was cold with my work boots, jeans, t-shirt, flannel, hoodie, and hat on. And he didn't even bring anything warmer with him! (Of course, being as he at the All-Knowing-Teenager age, he argued with me about the temperature... so I waited until he was visibly shivering before I gave him the winter coat I had in the car.)
I found out that Steve had David take care of at least half of the gutting process (Steve tells me there was some "eeeewwwww"ing), and David was there during the entire skinning and deboning process. And while they were deboning it, Art told David the story about how Native Americans used to eat the heart out of their kills. Raw. But, as the heart was left out in the woods with the rest of the innards, Art sliced off some raw steak and both he and David had a chunk. (David said that Art had cut off 4 slices and that all 4 of them had a piece as it was tradition for them to do so when a new hunter made his first kill. Steve told me that neither he or his dad did so, and both thought it was "just disgusting" but were able to hide it from David!)
They made it a full "hunting camp" experience!
And when I arrived to work yesterday, Steve had pictures here and had already shown several people the pictures of David with his deer. (He gave them to me. I gave them to David.)
Plus, David had the camera with him - so maybe sometime I'll get some pictures on here to go along with the story. (Sheila would love to show me how to do so. Right, sis?)
I wish I could have Steve tell the story. He's a natural jokester. Among a list of other things, he told David that the deer David shot was the huge one he'd been trying to get ever since the bowhunting season had started. David, of course, believed him - as I'd told him all about this (actual) monster deer that Steve has caught on his camera, and that if it should happen to come along to let Steve take it!
Of course, Steve told him he was just kidding about that. But he never told him that he was joking when he said that MN now requires kids to take their driving tests with a manual transmission car. :)
Happy 15th Birthday, David! The "driving age" milestone is coming up soon!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sheila, deer...
Sorry I've been absent. I got a little caught up in "encouraging" my sister to blog again, and my kids have had a lot going on this week, so I've neglected my own blog.
My bad.
Anyway, there's been several times where I stopped in on someones blog where the writer has said something about not updating because they didn't have anything worth blogging about and didn't want to bore us, the reader.
I suspect they also experience times of boredom, and are probably very normal people.
I don't carry that burden. So, for my sister, Sheila - I liked your "Poem of Encouragement" from my last comment section, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to stick some more needles in that Voodoo doll I made of you. :)
Anyway, I'd said in Sheila's comments that I'd be blogging about "dorks" and "geeks", but I'm putting that on hold for a bit so as to get the fam caught up on what my chillun been up to.
So...
The Title Subject "Thing of Amusement" that you might be amused by but annoyed the hell out of me is... (drum roll)...
David stood on his bed this week. And put his head through the light fixture.
Bwahahahahahahaha!
Now that the glass has been cleaned up and all the bedding has been rewashed and the bed is made again, even I find this funny. I mean, really! He's not that much shorter than me anymore, and he'll be 15 on Tuesday...which is a bit old to be standing on the bed unless there's a lightbulb to be changed!
Todd's been in the YME School's version of "Beauty and the Beast" which performed about 5 times this week. I took Friday off from work so I could check that out (and go buy hunting stuff for David) and I went again on Saturday. I've seen a couple of the other plays the school has put on, and they are incredible!
The music teachers really bring out the talent in their students here.
When I had a concert, we stood on those mini-bleacher things and sang a bit. Here, they sing and play simple instruments and throw in a little dancing and acting and mix in some comedy and it's just all around fun! Small schools rock!!!
(That being said, I still have to admit that Todd is getting a less than desirable grade for band this quarter as he doesn't go to his lessons or turn in his practice time. Brat.)
And I mentioned briefly that David was going hunting. I am extremely fortunate in that many of the guys at UPS are very much into hunting, and that I get along smashingly well with them.
Here's how it played out. Upon picking up the kids from their mom's last weekend, David said that he'd gone hunting up there. (With Step Uncle Ray.) He said that his mom was wondering if I would buy him a license so he could actually hunt this weekend.
Um, hello? I want to go back to Florida and hit the theme parks again. Think she'd buy their tickets? And besides, the hunting license is only $14!. (Plus, Uncle Ray has already shot a couple of deer this year and put them on licenses purchased under the names of people who didn't go hunting. I don't think this has become legal yet, so I really don't care to have my kids "taught how to hunt" from this individual. I told David as much, saying I'd be OK with it as long as it's not something where he showed up to go hunting and his tag would get stuck on something dead so his hunting was already done.)
I mentioned this to the guys at UPS, and immediately I had an offer from my friend Steve (previous owner of my old red warp speed riding lawnmower) to take the young lad hunting with him... and an offer from my friend Art (UPS mechanic and MN Archery - Champ Class for several years running) to set the lad up with boots and orange hunting wear!
So...I presented this option to David, and he stayed here. Steve dropped off slugs so David could fire off a couple shots to get used to shooting the gun, Art changed the gun over from shotgun to slug, I bought the license and gloves and hat, Art and Steve provided the rest of the clothing, Steve had David stay with his family for the last 2 nights so they could get out in the woods by 5am, and today I got the call from David saying he'd got an 8 pointer!
Steve and Art tell me the gun I'd bought for David upon receiving his "gun certification" training thing is a really good gun and has a rifled slug barrel. I didn't actually think the gun would ever be used for slugs, so this was good news. Of course, the slugs cost 3 times as much, but David apparently nailed it on the second shot. Steve was every bit as excited to tell me about it as David was, only they were in different stands so Steve's side of it was more from what he heard.
And the kindness from my coworkers is still coming in, as Steve was the one who got stuck gutting the thing and dragging it through the river and out of the woods, and Art is coming down from his town...over 1/2 hour away...to debone it (As soon as the football game is done. Go Vikings!) which will save me another $70!
I try to go out of my way to help my friends, but right now I'm really in debt!
So, gotta go. Gotta run some coolers to Steve's place as they should be back from getting the deer registered by now. Then I'll have to be making some cookies to share with a couple of UPSers tomorrow night! :)
Oh, sorry if you thought I'd mispelled the title. You might have thought it was supposed to be "Sheila, dear..."
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
My bad.
Anyway, there's been several times where I stopped in on someones blog where the writer has said something about not updating because they didn't have anything worth blogging about and didn't want to bore us, the reader.
I suspect they also experience times of boredom, and are probably very normal people.
I don't carry that burden. So, for my sister, Sheila - I liked your "Poem of Encouragement" from my last comment section, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to stick some more needles in that Voodoo doll I made of you. :)
Anyway, I'd said in Sheila's comments that I'd be blogging about "dorks" and "geeks", but I'm putting that on hold for a bit so as to get the fam caught up on what my chillun been up to.
So...
The Title Subject "Thing of Amusement" that you might be amused by but annoyed the hell out of me is... (drum roll)...
David stood on his bed this week. And put his head through the light fixture.
Bwahahahahahahaha!
Now that the glass has been cleaned up and all the bedding has been rewashed and the bed is made again, even I find this funny. I mean, really! He's not that much shorter than me anymore, and he'll be 15 on Tuesday...which is a bit old to be standing on the bed unless there's a lightbulb to be changed!
Todd's been in the YME School's version of "Beauty and the Beast" which performed about 5 times this week. I took Friday off from work so I could check that out (and go buy hunting stuff for David) and I went again on Saturday. I've seen a couple of the other plays the school has put on, and they are incredible!
The music teachers really bring out the talent in their students here.
When I had a concert, we stood on those mini-bleacher things and sang a bit. Here, they sing and play simple instruments and throw in a little dancing and acting and mix in some comedy and it's just all around fun! Small schools rock!!!
(That being said, I still have to admit that Todd is getting a less than desirable grade for band this quarter as he doesn't go to his lessons or turn in his practice time. Brat.)
And I mentioned briefly that David was going hunting. I am extremely fortunate in that many of the guys at UPS are very much into hunting, and that I get along smashingly well with them.
Here's how it played out. Upon picking up the kids from their mom's last weekend, David said that he'd gone hunting up there. (With Step Uncle Ray.) He said that his mom was wondering if I would buy him a license so he could actually hunt this weekend.
Um, hello? I want to go back to Florida and hit the theme parks again. Think she'd buy their tickets? And besides, the hunting license is only $14!. (Plus, Uncle Ray has already shot a couple of deer this year and put them on licenses purchased under the names of people who didn't go hunting. I don't think this has become legal yet, so I really don't care to have my kids "taught how to hunt" from this individual. I told David as much, saying I'd be OK with it as long as it's not something where he showed up to go hunting and his tag would get stuck on something dead so his hunting was already done.)
I mentioned this to the guys at UPS, and immediately I had an offer from my friend Steve (previous owner of my old red warp speed riding lawnmower) to take the young lad hunting with him... and an offer from my friend Art (UPS mechanic and MN Archery - Champ Class for several years running) to set the lad up with boots and orange hunting wear!
So...I presented this option to David, and he stayed here. Steve dropped off slugs so David could fire off a couple shots to get used to shooting the gun, Art changed the gun over from shotgun to slug, I bought the license and gloves and hat, Art and Steve provided the rest of the clothing, Steve had David stay with his family for the last 2 nights so they could get out in the woods by 5am, and today I got the call from David saying he'd got an 8 pointer!
Steve and Art tell me the gun I'd bought for David upon receiving his "gun certification" training thing is a really good gun and has a rifled slug barrel. I didn't actually think the gun would ever be used for slugs, so this was good news. Of course, the slugs cost 3 times as much, but David apparently nailed it on the second shot. Steve was every bit as excited to tell me about it as David was, only they were in different stands so Steve's side of it was more from what he heard.
And the kindness from my coworkers is still coming in, as Steve was the one who got stuck gutting the thing and dragging it through the river and out of the woods, and Art is coming down from his town...over 1/2 hour away...to debone it (As soon as the football game is done. Go Vikings!) which will save me another $70!
I try to go out of my way to help my friends, but right now I'm really in debt!
So, gotta go. Gotta run some coolers to Steve's place as they should be back from getting the deer registered by now. Then I'll have to be making some cookies to share with a couple of UPSers tomorrow night! :)
Oh, sorry if you thought I'd mispelled the title. You might have thought it was supposed to be "Sheila, dear..."
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Unhappy me.
I don't really remember how we got on the subject, but while some friends and I were sitting around the fire on Halloween night, one of the females mentioned she had lost quite a bit of weight shortly before moving to MN. One of the other females asked what she had done to lose the weight, and from there I only tuned in sporadically so I'm in no position to pass on her weight loss secrets.
Sorry about that.
But at the end of their conversation, something was said that caught my attention and stuck with me. I recognized it to be a good "twisted logic" subject that I could share with you. Let me know if you agree with them or not.
The statement was worded something like this.
"If you're happy, you gain weight. You lose weight when you're not."
They (And by "they" I mean the females, for the other males shared the same blank-faced, glazed-over-eyes expression that I'm sure I was wearing) all seemed to agree with this statement.
Damn.
I've been losing weight for the last 3 or so years. And I've mistakenly been pleased with this, for I'd given credit for this loss of weight to the fact that I'd moved to a town that doesn't have a McDonald's. And here it turns out I'm unhappy!
And while I was sitting at a McDonald's one day, there was an unusually robust boy sitting at the adjacent table stuffing his mouth with fries and burgers while the unusually thin person who I'm guessing was his mom ate nothing, read the paper, and completely ignored him. I seriously think the kid may have weighed close to what I do and was probably about 10 years old.
It's things like this that cause my confusion. In the above scenario, I would have guessed the child to be quite unhappy and to be trying to fill the void, created by the lack of attention and affection from his mother, with food. I'll admit that I also mentally labelled her as a horse-shit mom who seemed to be neglecting her own child as if he was the burdensome byproduct and unwanted reminder of a bad relationship. Either way, I'm sure the kid has had a tough time of it since then and I'm hard pressed to believe that the unhappy (thin) kids have treated him nicely.
I'm a fast eater. I need to work on that. But I've been fortunate in that I can eat buffets whenever I please and it doesn't stay with me. (Get me on fast food for a good length of time and it's a different story.) So here again I'm back to my old thinking that it's not my current state of happiness that controls my weight so much as what I'm eating.
But then I come to work this week and a few of the daytime guys are sitting in the office and finishing off their Dairy Queen. On one of the cups, I see a picture of a female holding what we're supposed to believe is a Blizzard. She's got that cartoonish word bubble over her head, and in it she's saying something like, "When I'm unhappy I have a Blizzard. When I'm happy, I have two!"
So now I'm thinking that Dairy Queen has some really good marketing strategists that have most likely enlisted the help of those people who specialize in what goes on in our heads to promote the Blizzard product. Or possibly the females at my Halloween gathering eat at Dairy Queen too often and have been brainwashed by cup propaganda. But still, the fact that this same topic presented itself twice in the last week and by such completely different sources, and is the opposite of my own thinking, has caused me to dwell on the subject during my drive time.
All I know is the girl on the DQ cup appeared quite thin, and therefore must be seriously unhappy most of the time. I can eat 2 foot-long Subway sandwiches in a sitting (but choose not to unless there's a BOGOfree going on) and even I wouldn't tackle 2 Blizzards!
And Jared, the Subway fat-guy-turned-skinny, is now unhappy...if we look at this from my Halloween guests' point of view. I can understand his unhappiness. Hold the mayo, my @$$!
Still, I'd rather not think of any loss of weight as something I should be unhappy about, for apparently I'm already plenty unhappy as it is since I'm losing weight. I usually look forward to hopping on the scale for the DOT physicals. (Both jobs have me do this even though I actually move a truck in once about every other never.) It amuses me that somehow my diet is usually horrible the week prior to the physical and yet the number that comes back is lower than when I was last in.
So, what gives? Is it just a females weight that's controlled by their degree of happiness? But then, how does this apply to fashion? If thin people are unhappy, and larger people are happy, why is it that happy people are made to feel miserable because of their happiness as measured by weight? And, as a single guy, how does one view the weight/happiness ratio in seeking out someone that they can stand being in a car with for a few hours at a time while on drives to SoDak or the MN Renaissance Festival or The Mall of America or Nowhere in Particular, Iowa or to his non-blog updating sister's house in Nebraska?
Please share your thoughts. :)
Sorry about that.
But at the end of their conversation, something was said that caught my attention and stuck with me. I recognized it to be a good "twisted logic" subject that I could share with you. Let me know if you agree with them or not.
The statement was worded something like this.
"If you're happy, you gain weight. You lose weight when you're not."
They (And by "they" I mean the females, for the other males shared the same blank-faced, glazed-over-eyes expression that I'm sure I was wearing) all seemed to agree with this statement.
Damn.
I've been losing weight for the last 3 or so years. And I've mistakenly been pleased with this, for I'd given credit for this loss of weight to the fact that I'd moved to a town that doesn't have a McDonald's. And here it turns out I'm unhappy!
And while I was sitting at a McDonald's one day, there was an unusually robust boy sitting at the adjacent table stuffing his mouth with fries and burgers while the unusually thin person who I'm guessing was his mom ate nothing, read the paper, and completely ignored him. I seriously think the kid may have weighed close to what I do and was probably about 10 years old.
It's things like this that cause my confusion. In the above scenario, I would have guessed the child to be quite unhappy and to be trying to fill the void, created by the lack of attention and affection from his mother, with food. I'll admit that I also mentally labelled her as a horse-shit mom who seemed to be neglecting her own child as if he was the burdensome byproduct and unwanted reminder of a bad relationship. Either way, I'm sure the kid has had a tough time of it since then and I'm hard pressed to believe that the unhappy (thin) kids have treated him nicely.
I'm a fast eater. I need to work on that. But I've been fortunate in that I can eat buffets whenever I please and it doesn't stay with me. (Get me on fast food for a good length of time and it's a different story.) So here again I'm back to my old thinking that it's not my current state of happiness that controls my weight so much as what I'm eating.
But then I come to work this week and a few of the daytime guys are sitting in the office and finishing off their Dairy Queen. On one of the cups, I see a picture of a female holding what we're supposed to believe is a Blizzard. She's got that cartoonish word bubble over her head, and in it she's saying something like, "When I'm unhappy I have a Blizzard. When I'm happy, I have two!"
So now I'm thinking that Dairy Queen has some really good marketing strategists that have most likely enlisted the help of those people who specialize in what goes on in our heads to promote the Blizzard product. Or possibly the females at my Halloween gathering eat at Dairy Queen too often and have been brainwashed by cup propaganda. But still, the fact that this same topic presented itself twice in the last week and by such completely different sources, and is the opposite of my own thinking, has caused me to dwell on the subject during my drive time.
All I know is the girl on the DQ cup appeared quite thin, and therefore must be seriously unhappy most of the time. I can eat 2 foot-long Subway sandwiches in a sitting (but choose not to unless there's a BOGOfree going on) and even I wouldn't tackle 2 Blizzards!
And Jared, the Subway fat-guy-turned-skinny, is now unhappy...if we look at this from my Halloween guests' point of view. I can understand his unhappiness. Hold the mayo, my @$$!
Still, I'd rather not think of any loss of weight as something I should be unhappy about, for apparently I'm already plenty unhappy as it is since I'm losing weight. I usually look forward to hopping on the scale for the DOT physicals. (Both jobs have me do this even though I actually move a truck in once about every other never.) It amuses me that somehow my diet is usually horrible the week prior to the physical and yet the number that comes back is lower than when I was last in.
So, what gives? Is it just a females weight that's controlled by their degree of happiness? But then, how does this apply to fashion? If thin people are unhappy, and larger people are happy, why is it that happy people are made to feel miserable because of their happiness as measured by weight? And, as a single guy, how does one view the weight/happiness ratio in seeking out someone that they can stand being in a car with for a few hours at a time while on drives to SoDak or the MN Renaissance Festival or The Mall of America or Nowhere in Particular, Iowa or to his non-blog updating sister's house in Nebraska?
Please share your thoughts. :)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Can I get a price check?
Ok. Here's the thing about Wal-Mart.
They have this handy "Open 24-7" thing at the larger centers
I don't know if there are any left that don't fall into the "larger center" category, but I have 4 of the always open kind within a 45 minute drive.
And somehow, whenever I go, I end up leaving with a few extra things I didn't realize or forgot I needed.
So, I made my Halloween candy run... to Marshall. They told me that the person who marks down the candy is on vacation and someone is coming in at 5:00am to take care of it. But I was on a chocolate buying mission and was not about to be thwarted so easily, so I just bought some eggs, laundry detergent, and something else that I can't think of right now but must have remembered I needed when I saw it.
And then I went to the Wal-Mart in Montevideo. (I'm not a big fan of the Wal-Mart in Montevideo. They don't leave the greenhouse area unlocked on Sunday and overnight in the summer. But like I said, there was candy that needed purchasing.)
So now I'm at the Montevideo Wal-Mart and I have a couple bags of candy - but I don't know if it's half price yet. I wander all the way across the store trying to find one of those damn price scanning things, but fail to do so. I can't help but wonder if any of the 5,560 kids that have been found and returned by Wal-Mart's "Missing People" thing were located by shoppers who were wandering around the store trying to find a price scanner.
I finally find one of the overnight people who leads me to a price scanner and teaches me an important lesson that I would like to pass on to you, my devoted following, here.
If you are in Wal-Mart and need to check a price, look for the support posts that have a blue line on them. If there is a blue line on the post, there is also a scanning thingy on it.
Bonus feelings of happiness are yours if the thing works.
If the post has a red line on it, there is a fire extinguisher on the post. Someone with less patience than you and I might try burning the place down after wandering all the way across the store without finding an employee or a scanning thingy. You can put out the fire, keep the consumer costs low, save the day, and educate the disgruntled shopper on how to significantly improve their shopping experience!
Note: This info is valid for all Wal-Marts. I've double checked at the ones I go to so as to be sure I'm giving you accurate information. Some posts have both a scanner and a fire extinguisher and apparently found favor with the guys distributing the red and blue lines. And some posts have nothing on them. Feel free to feel sorry for these posts, and maybe give them a hug.
So, back to the candy business. Yes, the scanning thing verified that at least some of it was half off. Good enough. Bought a bunch and went home.
But then, the next day, I find the empty cat food bag under Todd's bed. I don't know exactly why he folded it up so nicely and put it under his bed, especially since the bedding itself was on the floor in David's room, but I made the connection that the cat must need food.
So I made a list because it's back to Wal-Mart time again. (If the Mom and Pop Shops were open between midnight and 4am, I'd shop there, too.)
I usually prefer to not shop with a list because I've heard somewhere that when you see a male in a store with a list it's because his wife sent him there with it. I don't want a potential girlfriend to dismiss me because she thinks I'm already taken, so I cleverly stick the post-it containing the list inside my checkbook cover. (Yes, I realize that she might think I'm glancing at my checkbook account to see if I can afford the two packages of hamburger buns I've placed in my cart, which doesn't really give one the impression that I won't get dismissed even quicker, but it's my story, so let me tell it how I see fit.)
So on my list I have cat food, milk, socks, roast seasoning, and gravy. (I made the kids beef commercials last weekend. They were highly impressed and have asked me to repeat the performance. I told them the story about how the first one I ever had I was with their grandpa and we were at the Nowacki Gas Station in wherever and so on.) Anyway, should be about 40 bucks.
* Doodles and Sindee - Nowacki is our last name, in case you're wondering what the significance is.
** Creepy Internet Stalkers of Boys - You can now find us. I still don't value your life. Keep that in mind.
Back to the story. :)
The Schwan's guy didn't have any corn left on his truck on his last visit so I checked out the frozen veggies. Mom had told me I should try the microwavable "steam fresh" veggies, so I picked up a couple of bags. But right next to the corn they had steam fresh brussel sprouts, and I have always found brussel sprouts to taste kind of disgusting and thought they looked like the evil alien pod things on "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". So I bought a bag of those, too. Cuz really, who doesn't enjoy pretending they're snacking on evil fetal embryonic alien lifeforms?
And then I see the pre-flame-broiled burgers on an end cap. Marked down to $1 from $6-something? I better get 8 in case they're good! And what's this? Bacon wrapped steaks that were originally $11-something and are on sale for $4? HolyTolyDoly! I must buy 12!!!
And some oil for the deep fryer, because it's getting low, and maybe 4 boxes of cereal because we might be low on that. (Oops...still have 11 boxes at home. My bad.) And so on.
So anyway, I leave with considerably more than what I had on the list.
I had no idea how much stuff I needed!
They have this handy "Open 24-7" thing at the larger centers
I don't know if there are any left that don't fall into the "larger center" category, but I have 4 of the always open kind within a 45 minute drive.
And somehow, whenever I go, I end up leaving with a few extra things I didn't realize or forgot I needed.
So, I made my Halloween candy run... to Marshall. They told me that the person who marks down the candy is on vacation and someone is coming in at 5:00am to take care of it. But I was on a chocolate buying mission and was not about to be thwarted so easily, so I just bought some eggs, laundry detergent, and something else that I can't think of right now but must have remembered I needed when I saw it.
And then I went to the Wal-Mart in Montevideo. (I'm not a big fan of the Wal-Mart in Montevideo. They don't leave the greenhouse area unlocked on Sunday and overnight in the summer. But like I said, there was candy that needed purchasing.)
So now I'm at the Montevideo Wal-Mart and I have a couple bags of candy - but I don't know if it's half price yet. I wander all the way across the store trying to find one of those damn price scanning things, but fail to do so. I can't help but wonder if any of the 5,560 kids that have been found and returned by Wal-Mart's "Missing People" thing were located by shoppers who were wandering around the store trying to find a price scanner.
I finally find one of the overnight people who leads me to a price scanner and teaches me an important lesson that I would like to pass on to you, my devoted following, here.
If you are in Wal-Mart and need to check a price, look for the support posts that have a blue line on them. If there is a blue line on the post, there is also a scanning thingy on it.
Bonus feelings of happiness are yours if the thing works.
If the post has a red line on it, there is a fire extinguisher on the post. Someone with less patience than you and I might try burning the place down after wandering all the way across the store without finding an employee or a scanning thingy. You can put out the fire, keep the consumer costs low, save the day, and educate the disgruntled shopper on how to significantly improve their shopping experience!
Note: This info is valid for all Wal-Marts. I've double checked at the ones I go to so as to be sure I'm giving you accurate information. Some posts have both a scanner and a fire extinguisher and apparently found favor with the guys distributing the red and blue lines. And some posts have nothing on them. Feel free to feel sorry for these posts, and maybe give them a hug.
So, back to the candy business. Yes, the scanning thing verified that at least some of it was half off. Good enough. Bought a bunch and went home.
But then, the next day, I find the empty cat food bag under Todd's bed. I don't know exactly why he folded it up so nicely and put it under his bed, especially since the bedding itself was on the floor in David's room, but I made the connection that the cat must need food.
So I made a list because it's back to Wal-Mart time again. (If the Mom and Pop Shops were open between midnight and 4am, I'd shop there, too.)
I usually prefer to not shop with a list because I've heard somewhere that when you see a male in a store with a list it's because his wife sent him there with it. I don't want a potential girlfriend to dismiss me because she thinks I'm already taken, so I cleverly stick the post-it containing the list inside my checkbook cover. (Yes, I realize that she might think I'm glancing at my checkbook account to see if I can afford the two packages of hamburger buns I've placed in my cart, which doesn't really give one the impression that I won't get dismissed even quicker, but it's my story, so let me tell it how I see fit.)
So on my list I have cat food, milk, socks, roast seasoning, and gravy. (I made the kids beef commercials last weekend. They were highly impressed and have asked me to repeat the performance. I told them the story about how the first one I ever had I was with their grandpa and we were at the Nowacki Gas Station in wherever and so on.) Anyway, should be about 40 bucks.
* Doodles and Sindee - Nowacki is our last name, in case you're wondering what the significance is.
** Creepy Internet Stalkers of Boys - You can now find us. I still don't value your life. Keep that in mind.
Back to the story. :)
The Schwan's guy didn't have any corn left on his truck on his last visit so I checked out the frozen veggies. Mom had told me I should try the microwavable "steam fresh" veggies, so I picked up a couple of bags. But right next to the corn they had steam fresh brussel sprouts, and I have always found brussel sprouts to taste kind of disgusting and thought they looked like the evil alien pod things on "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". So I bought a bag of those, too. Cuz really, who doesn't enjoy pretending they're snacking on evil fetal embryonic alien lifeforms?
And then I see the pre-flame-broiled burgers on an end cap. Marked down to $1 from $6-something? I better get 8 in case they're good! And what's this? Bacon wrapped steaks that were originally $11-something and are on sale for $4? HolyTolyDoly! I must buy 12!!!
And some oil for the deep fryer, because it's getting low, and maybe 4 boxes of cereal because we might be low on that. (Oops...still have 11 boxes at home. My bad.) And so on.
So anyway, I leave with considerably more than what I had on the list.
I had no idea how much stuff I needed!
And today is beautiful! I started a fire in the the old fire pit when I got home from work this morning, added more wood when I got up this afternoon, and have it all ready to whip up some of those steaks when the kids get home from school. I hope the weather is as nice where you are!
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