Infested

When I was just a wee young lad, I had quite a few Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars.

(Actually, I still have them...somewhere in mom's attic.)

I don't remember how exactly it came about that I now only collect one particular style of car, or why I decided that I was going to go with the Volkswagen beetle - but ever since my pre-teen years I've only collected that particular car, and only in the Johnny Lightning/Hot Wheels/Ertl/Matchbox size.

This was actually a good idea as far as collecting goes. It kept the interest going and it kept the cost down. And even though it's more difficult to find just one type of car, I've still managed to piece together a sizable collection. I have one that's a clock, two that transform into robots, several that have working lights and sirens, one that lifts off the frame, and some with opening hoods and some that change colors depending on the temperature.

Many of them are still in their original packaging.


I have most of them displayed at the Granite Falls Public Library in the display case they have. I had to build 3 additional shelves and still couldn't fit the entire collection in...but it was colorful and looked sweet!

(Val - the one that's actually yours is in there. If you can identify it I'll give it back.) :)

I then added a can of Raid and a can of Hot Shot bug fogger, and placed a sign inside the display with what info I felt like including about myself. (My name and city.)

On the sign, I also added the title for the display - Infested
(Hopefully a few people make the connection.) :)

I should have David swing down and take a picture.

The Fog of Winter

Isn't a nice fog in the middle of winter just fun?!

I spent a good part of Saturday shovelling the snow off my roof in case this next round dumps more on us.

I'm hearing it's supposed to start again by the end of the week, but I'm also hearing it'll most likely miss my area.

Whatever. I'll take either.

But anyway, the break from the cold was sure welcome. And I'm amused by the fog that rolled in over the last couple of day due to this extreme temperature change. (Or whatever it is that causes fog in January.)


As you already know, I do most of my driving at night. I finally switched to mornings at UPS - so now instead of showing up late to Schwan's I just leave early. A bonus to that is that while I'm on my way to Schwan's, many of the cars I meet are driven by people on their way to Intoxication instead of those who have already visited.

And then there was the fog.


I like fog. I like the way it rests in the valleys of the Granite Falls Scenic Overlook when I'm driving home in the mornings. I used to love it when it pooled on the playground back in grade school, causing my feet to disappear. I like it when it hovers just above my car as I'm driving down the road, or when it's all wispy and spread out. And I like how a thick fog can disorientate you and how oncoming cars look like ghostly blobs until the headlights pierce through.


But I really enjoy the unique qualities of a winter fog at night. I like the way the trees on a well lit street or parking lot seem to have extra character, and how the snow covered ground seems somehow beautiful and mysterious, and how the highway signs sort of look like creepy murderous hitchhikers waiting in the dark...

No, wait. Not that one so much. :)

And then, when the fog lifted, the trees and shrubs had a frost on them that made them look they'd been rolled in pure white cotton candy and powdered sugar. It would have made for many excellent pictures. So naturally, I didn't take any. (Sheila, I would have LOVED to have you drive up and take pictures of the kids to put on next years Christmas card. Just one. For me. Unless you'd also take care of sending them out if I bought a bunch of stamps.)


Although I must admit, even with all of the things I DO like about fog, I'll probably scream like a little girl if I ever come up on deer...or anything else that doesn't move...while driving in one of those thick fogs.


And maybe I've seen too many movies, but when I'm driving on a fogless night and I meet an oncoming car...there's many times where both the driver of that car and I will both switch to low-beam at what seems like the exact same time.

It makes me wonder if I'm driving toward a me from a parallel universe or alternate reality and if we'll cancel each other out by sharing the same space at the point where we meet.

That's some scary shit right there!

I don't have to worry about that on a foggy night because most of my doppelgangers will also have their low beams on, thus avoiding the simultaneous switch in beam brightness and bestowing the false sense of security offered by assuming it's yet another someone on their way home from Intoxication.

But now the fog is gone and it's cold again and the little person that lives inside my dashboard is telling me that there's freezing rain and snow coming.

The perfect frost is gone and may soon be replaced by ice, and while this also can look neat...it's hell on the trees, and then the street lights and power lines lob frozen projectiles in my general direction when I pass beneath them.

Oh! It's snowing now! I shall have to fill the Super Soaker with alcohol and anti-freeze in preparation for the upcoming confrontation with the snow gremlins on the power lines with their arsenal of ice missiles.

Little bastards.

Many are the paths of weirdness I let my mind travel upon. :)

Beef...It's What's for Dinner!

Just like the ad from the American Beef Council that you hear on the radio.

I made enough meat that we had it for 3 meals. I put it in the Crock-pot and let it do it's thing, and that's what we had.

David had a Knowledge Bowl Tournament on Saturday, and they stopped and ate at Culver's in Marshall before returning home. I didn't really think he'd be all that hungry when we ate.

He proved me wrong.

He ate 2 or 3 large plates full of 'Beef Commercials'.

He really seemed to like it, judging by the fact that he ate that much and that he was saying things like, "Oh, this is sooooo good!"

Todd didn't eat as much because it stung his chapped lips, but he did a good job of it as well.

They said we should have the same thing the next day.

I said, "I can make it close, but I'll have to use all roast. We just ate part of the roast and all of the tongue."

They didn't seem to be grossed out at all.

I was a little disappointed.

And David again had 3 huge servings. He eats more than I do. This is not a small feat.

Now to figure out a way to disguise the liver. :)

Damsel (?) in Distress

Yeah, I stopped for another stranded motorist.
I'll get to that soon enough.

But first - I need to vent a bit, as when I walked out to the Cadillac after work a couple days ago, I saw that someone had hit the front bumper on the passenger side and left a good sized hole in it.

I'm not going to lie. This annoys me. This is the 3rd front end this car has got in the last year.

So now I'm changing up my plans a bit. Instead of slowly going insane and buying a street sweeper to use as my personal vehicle, I now plan to become an assassin...and my street sweeper will be fully armored, have machine guns and bullet proof glass (magnetic...if that's possible), and have blades that swing out from beneath to "Take 'em out at the knees!".

I also plan to have the top of the cab custom built to hold about 8 inches of dirt, and to plant English Ivy and something flowery and viney that will hang down over the windows.

Yeah...That should look nice. :)

But anyway. Back to the topic. Eventually.

Before I get to that, I would like to say that it is VERYVERYVERYCOLD here in MN.

I had to chuckle when I was at Job 1 last night. My crew looked like a bunch of Eskimo Ninjas with their cold weather gear and parkas over their face masks and tightly drawn hoods. It's so cold that the loading bays at both jobs get bitterly cold when the doors are open for any length of time, and a pipe froze and burst at Job 1 while our pops were freezing INSIDE at Job 2.

Indeed...It was so cold this week that even the Buick pretended briefly that it wasn't going to start.

"Silly Buick...You had me going there!" (I might keep "slowly going insane" for a hobby. I'm working that angle here.)

OK. The background details have been established. I'm ready to get to the subject.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you do something, and right as you do it you think to yourself..."Oops. That was not a good idea. This will end badly."

Well, that's how I would have felt LAST week if I had driven to Job 2 in the Cadillac and the roads were as bad as they were yesterday.

Seriously. I don't think I have EVER driven on crappier roads. And like I said, it's COLD!!!

So I called my boss and asked if he had enough work left to make it worth my while to come down.

He said, "Probably not."

So I went down.

When we were done 2 hours later, I swung over to the Wally for a couple of movies.
(I also picked up 11 post-Christmas clearanced "Terry's Chocolate Oranges w/Toffee". These are very good and I recommend you try them if you have not already done so. This has nothing to do with the story, but it's so cold that Wal-Mart was closed overnight tonight so I was not able to buy out the rest.)

And then I drove home...ward. (Whoa! De-ja-vu!)

By Cottonwood, there was a truck in the ditch.
I stopped and offered a ride to the person no longer driving.
But this time, I can't tell you if it was a male or female as the person was actually dressed for driving in horrible weather and I couldn't see any part of them except for a small bit of face.

English was not this person's primary language, so there was a bit of a language barrier - which didn't make it any easier to identify the gender.

At any rate, as you've already figured out, the person accepted the ride.
They lived "4 miles down Highway 4". That was the extent of the conversation. From there, I got as close as I was allowed to through hand gestures pointing the direction to go.

And Highway 4 was not pretty. There would have certainly been some "This will end badly" thoughts if I had driven on the road last week if it had been in the same condition.

But it's not last week, and neither the road or the car are in the same condition. And since the front end needs to get replaced anyway, I pounded snow drifts that I wouldn't even consider TRYING with the Buick... and I have way more faith in the Buick!

I shit you not. The road looked like "An Ocean of Snow in High Winds" with waves over a foot high in places and with wave after wave after wave pummeling the front end of my trusty car.
However, there were no thoughts of "ohshitohshitohshit..." like last time. Instead, there was some..."Hello!"s, and some "Oh, there you are!"s as my wheels reclaimed paved road.

In fact, I was having such a good time that the person had me drop them off at one of their neighbor's houses.

I heard them say "YOU bring me home!!!"

Funny. THAT came out clear enough!
Ha! I taught him or her to speak English.
(I suspect they were as white as I am by the time they got out.)

Then I drove home and woke up the kids to watch movies. I figured school would be closed for the day, and it was.