Peaceful

I had a decent day today. The house and the cat received just about zero attention - but even so I still got a lot done. The kids are at their mom's so there was no stream of friends wandering up, and no refereeing needed to be done.

Just me, all by myself, doing whatever I felt like doing.

I started the day by hitting some of the garage sales. I used to hit them all the time when the kids were small and I was broke.

However, David is now wearing the same size clothes I am... and Todd still has all of David's stuff... and we really don't actually need anything in particular - but I figured I'd give it a shot.

So, I picked up two sleeping bags (free) and 3 CDs ($.50 each).

Then I decided I should do something I've never done, but tomorrow I plan to pick up a shotgun for Todd and possible a computer for me, so I decided this would need to be something relatively inexpensive.

Say, like, $10 or less.

So I asked myself, "What can I do that I haven't done before for less than $10?"
Naturally, it came to me that I could lay siege to the neighbor's enormous NEW camper/with accompanying NEW Volkswagen Beetle in tow by lobbing flaming arrows into the ground near the door.

But I don't have a bow... or a set of arrows... and it sounded like a waste of alcohol.

So I ate breakfast at Subway.

Then I wandered up to the library to put in some Facebook time. A friend that moved back in junior high had sent me a message asking about some of the other people in the class. I always enjoy hearing from this particular friend as he talks to me like we're still just kids having fun on the snow hill (if we remembered our snow pants, as he would point out) but on his "wall" he talks like the hard luck, drop-out, tattoo artist that he became.

Woe is me. The computers at the local library are older and can't handle some of the friend's profile pages without locking up. (Moriah - This is why I never comment on your status updates anymore.)

After having locked up the computer... again ... I decided that the weather really was planning to stay cold and windy. Since there was no longer any use in waiting it out, I decided to do some weeding and plant some of the flowers I have laying around.

Even though the temp was lower than optimal, the scenery is just beautiful. The flowering crab, apple trees, lilacs, and many more of the spring flowering trees are in full bloom here. I don't have any of these on my own property - yet...except for 1 tiny lilac that I just stuck in last summer - but I do have many lilac type trees that will pop into full bloom sometime this week, and my property will be covered in white, pink, and red flowers. Nice! (Yes. I know...pictures.)

It came to my attention that some of the perennials sure do take their sweet @$$ time about showing any indication that they made it through the winter. However, Obedient Plant is not one of these.

In fact, I think they should call it Disobedient Plant. Or maybe even Downright Unruly Plant. I can't believe how much it spreads in just one year!!!

But there were other less aggressive plants that still haven't shown signs of life. I removed one of these thinking it was dead, only to find that I'd done so in error. I suspect that a couple of the others also would have come around if they'd been left alone, but I wasn't really in the mood to spend a bunch of time weeding AROUND something that might be dead.

I do a lot of thinking while I'm weeding, and I compared myself to the plants. Am I like that plant that's just kind of there but in no hurry to grow? Or am I one that's already up and already blossoming? Or is my moment of glory still a short stretch down the road?

I read a saying once that went something like..."To have a garden is to be close to God."

For me, it's more like..."To have a garden is to play at being a god." This, of course, because I get to pick and choose which plants live and which plants die. And since this was the first weeding of the year, my maniacal laughter could have been heard echoing off the canyon walls as I gleefully screamed, "Die, damn you! Die! Die Die!" as I removed the dandelions from my project.

At least it could have if there were canyon walls here. Or if I really was THAT excited about pulling weeds.

In all actuality, it really was a calm day. I even passed on dragging out the Boom Box (yes, I still have the one I bought back in 1989ish) so as to enjoy listening to the critters - the blue jays, robins, cardinals, some black birds, and some I haven't identified. I paused in my work to listen to a mourning dove - partly because I grew up in an area where there were so many of them to listen to and partly because I wanted to pause in my work.

In fact, the only interruption in my peaceful day was when I heard someone talking to someone else out on the road.

I heard them say "Push. Push! PUSH ALREADY!"

I've never actually delivered a baby, so I just minded my own business.

And then I heard the engine crank over, and realized someones vehicle must have quit.

But then I heard the man say something about "...pull up your panties..." followed by what sounded like a black woman sounding off right back at him. And since I only know one black female in town, and she's a friend, and she just happens to live the direction the commotion was coming from, I decided to investigate.

So I meandered down the path from where I was working out to the road. While I was doing this, I questioned why it was that the female was the one pushing the stalled vehicle.

As I got out to the road, I glanced toward a van at the same time someone started it. I could still hear the male voice, so I walked out a bit more to see if there was another vehicle.

Nope. Just the guy walking toward the van.

So I turned and walked back up the path.

And just as I walked out of his sight I heard him say, "That's right. Go back in the woods."

Which stopped me cold.

And when he next glanced up the street toward where I HAD been, he found that I was once again there.

And I was a bit pissy. And while I've never been in a fight, I knew that he only had his can of beer, while I had an entire arsenal of weaponry that he couldn't even see. (At this point in the story I would like to mention that I've never actually used a Garden Weasel but suspect that it's probably worthless. On the other hand, The Garden Claw Red...a registered trademark of The Garden Weasel... is not only fantastic for weeding without bending - it's also perfectly balanced like it was designed for guys who plant flowers and have fairy statues to throw at drunk guys who are verbally and emotionally abusive to females.)

Plus, I had to defend the reputation of the loner guys one might find in the woods.
I mean, really! Has this guy never seen the movie "Deliverance"?
* cue here the hillbilly banjo boy... :)

Apparently it shows when I'm pissed. I heard him say "Go." to whoever was in the van.

I thought, "That's right. Be afraid! Run from my flower power. Bitch." :)

So then everything went back to quiet and peaceful. I planted some English Ivy, some Hosta, some Columbine, four of something I can't think of the name of right off hand, and so on.

Then I went back to Subway for supper so that the day would be well rounded, and enjoyed my sub and some clam chowder and a beer of my own while sitting on my swingy thingy and watching the birds and listening to the wind chimes.

Oh, and I forgot to mention I dug up an old marble and a pair of glasses that looked a lot like the ones Sheila was wearing in her graduation pictures.

Oooooh yeah. Next time I stare someone down I'm going to be wearing those! :)

Well. It's getting late. I should get to sleep. Outside. In my free sleeping bags...

Busted!

Hi, Erin! I've been hoping you'd leave a comment! And now that you have...

To all of my devoted followers -
The family, the friends, the friends of family, the family of family, the non-commenting followers,
and that creepy, sinister looking chap that's lurking over there in the shadows...

(Notice how this completely inflates my readership. But really, I do appreciate all 5 of you.)

Please take the time to go to the comments section of my last entry and click on Erin's name and find your way to her blog. It's worth reading. :)

And yes, I have been absent for a while. I know this. I hit a funk and got lost there for a bit.
I don't think I was alone in the funk, but it was a thick funk so I couldn't find my way out.
I heard laughter... (from the creepy, sinister looking chap - I'd guess...)

:)

So what have I been up to?

Well...
I bought a new phone. This one can take pictures. I now consider myself technologically savvy even if I haven't learned how to retrieve the messages yet.

I haven't made any major home improvements, although I did replace the trampoline...again.

I hit a couple garage sales and now have about 60 more movies to watch.

I bought some plants from Menard's. I dug up a bunch of plants from Duke's (college buddy) that he wanted removed, and a friend from town dropped off 3 five-gallon pails of plants and said there's more available when I'm ready for them.

Plus, there's some glossy leaved shade plants near work that I've been eyeing since last year. It turns out that they have large purple blossoms at this time of the year- so I'll be wanting to transplant some of that...and I also found several large clumps of Sedum growing on my own property that will need a more suitable location.

I have 85 bags of mulch and a lot of landscaping to do.

I figure I should have most of this done about this time next year. Sure wish I'd've scheduled my vacations sometime before July!

And yes... as Doodles pointed out in the comment section of the last blog entry... I have given most of my non-work computer time to Facebook. So I'm busted on that...as well as for my own lack of blogging.

Val - Still waiting for your blog to materialize as Sheila is still in the funk.

Erin - The "Christine" I referred to is a car from Stephen King's book by that title. The car had the ability to fix itself, was selfish, and had a bad temper. (It tended to kill people in car wrecks and then fix itself.)

But you're right. And I wasn't sure on the spelling... so I Google searched it and it's spelled "hypocrite". :) Glad you're back on!

As I understand...

... in the "Balloon Boy" hoax, the parents pretended their son had accidentally lifted off from the Earth in an experimental weather balloon.

Of course, there was much publicity over this event and public concern for the missing child.

But when they played the recording over the radio of the neighbor being interviewed, he said something along the line of being drawn to the commotion by one of the parents running around the outside of the residence calling the name of the missing son, and that two of the other children were on the roof (with a camera) and one of them said their brother was in the balloon.

And I thought to myself...
"Are you serious? BOTH parents are home and neither of them know that one of their children has possibly taken up flight, while two more are on the roof?! I'm thinking 'Protective Services' might be in order here."

And then I thought...

"Why'd they have the camera? And why were they on the roof in the first place? I thought this was supposed to be an accidental launch."



And then there's the Haiti hurricane situation. I told my coworkers that very night that it would be a perfect scenario for child trafficking. Then some SAVE THE WORLD!!! activist said that it was the responsibility of the U.S. to bring the orphans here.

Me thinks to myself..."Ouch. Bad idea there, Pandora!"

And sure enough, the radio tells me that 20 American missionaries were being held for trafficking children.

My thought?

"20 Americans? TWENTY? at the same time? organized that quickly for the purpose of smuggling orphans?

Bullshit.

Your country is going through a terrible tragedy, your people are suffering, and the first thing you do is target the country that's in the best position to assist?!!! What exactly is being done there that's so incredibly wrong that you would create this fiasco to divert the media's attention?!"

And this morning the radio told me only one of the detained Americans still remains in custody. If that person is allowed to go, will the media find evidence of what was really going on? Why haven't they already?



And maybe it's that I just don't have a lot of faith in people in general, but there's ALWAYS someone out there just waiting to jump on some Get Rich Quick plan.

So last night that radio tells me of this scenario...

The owner of a Toyota Prius has the accelerator problem that's been so widely covered as of late.
Two different news people report that the driver of the vehicle stated that he tried everything to get the vehicle to slow down - all the way to the point of reaching down and manually pulling up on the accelerator with his hand - before calling 911 and having the local police walk him through how to stop the vehicle using his E-brake. (He is reported to have reached a speed over 90mph.)

First - If he's old enough to where he's actually willing to drive a Prius - let alone afford it - he should have had a driver's training class that covered how to stop the vehicle if the brakes were to fail.

Second - He tried everything? It occurred to him to call 911 on his cell phone - at 90mph...but it didn't occur to him to...um...turn the key to the 'Off' position?

Cuz' I've had two cars (see * for more info) accelerate on me and turning the thing off was the first thing I thought both times. Well, maybe the 2nd thing. The first was probably, "Shit. My car is speeding up by itself. Hope this doesn't cost much to fix."

And really, with as much unwanted publicity that Toyota has taken over this, I'd think that by now you'd have wondered how you'd go about stopping your Toyota if it went all Herbie or Christine or Bumblebee on you.

Of course, unless you're still driving a car that doesn't have power steering, you need to put the car in neutral and restart it right away. Especially so if there's need for urgent use of the power brakes or if you are on a curve.


I'm glad I buy used cars. I'd sure hate to buy one new, have it recalled, and then have it seem that all the stupid people in the world were driving the same kind of car I chose. (Although I kind of wish I had a Toyota now so I could haul ass down the road. I'd put a sign in the back window saying..."Sorry Officer. Can't stop. Accelerator sticking.")

I wonder if Toyota vehicles will top the "Most Stolen" lists again THIS year.


And there's today's ramblings.

I'm ending this post much the same as the last one, but with an apology included.
I'd missed that another one of my high school friends had found this and therefore didn't throw a shout-out in her direction. So... Hi, Judy! Sorry I missed you last time! :)


*(1) - 1987 Chevy Celebrity Eurosport (Satan's college car) - I hit a monster snowdrift at a good clip. The engine was so full of snow that it knocked the belt off. Once the belt was back on it ran again...but was as anxious to get to a heated garage as a horse is to get home after a long ride.

*(2) - 1997 Buick LeSabre (Yup. The one I still have) - Sped up by itself just one time. The cruise control has worked sporadically since then. Hmmm...CC, Toyota?

My Current State of Being

So. I don't know if it's that the winter is doing it's annual Drag-Out-Longer-Than-Desired performance or if it's just that I never exercise just for the sake of exercising and have a lousy diet and sleep schedule, but I'm absolutely shot.

I've even been having trouble staying awake on the drive back to Granite after Job2 to while on my way to Job1. (I realize that's a little confusing, but Job1 hired me a few months before the current position was accepted at Job2, and pays better...so it remains Job1 in my head even if I now work them in the opposite order.)

It's not so bad that I'm seeing 'The Red Semi That Isn't There' like happened a couple times during daylight hours over the last couple years...or maybe I am and I can't tell it's red because it's dark. At any rate, I have the last bag of Halloween candy in the car to make sure I don't actually fall asleep. (Warheads, LemonHeads, Atomic Fire Balls, and Sour Patch Kids are a good supplement to caffeine for overcoming drowsy driving.)

If it wasn't so damn cold I'd just find me a nice field approach and take a little snooze. But being overtired like I am, I'd probably zonk out something severe and succumb to carbon monoxide poisoning from the running car.

So anyway, as I was standing in WalMart after working Job2 this morning, the little jingle that alerts me to missed phone calls went off - and there was a message on there saying that the person who is now working my former position at Job1 was training at another center and that it was requested that I fill in for the night.

Mixed reactions to that.

Sure, this means I could get some more sleep time in before going to work again - but I was planning on attending a Pampered Chef party tonight. It was being hosted by a friend who's just getting started in the business and it was her first party. I wanted to go partly to help her out, and partly because I'm a little tired of cupboards full of plastic storage containers that say 'Schwan's' or 'Cool-Whip' on them.

Oh. And partly because I figured I'd be about the only guy at the party.

And here I was planning to get at least 3 more of their oven timers to use as alarm clocks in whichever car I was using...for severe cases when the sour candies possibly wouldn't do the trick and the chance of carbon monoxide poisoning is a better risk than the possibility of an accident.

I was a little surprised that none of the guys at Job2 questioned why I was sitting in the break room flipping through a 'The Pampered Chef' catalog a couple times this week. I suppose they no longer find it unexpected. After all, I've brought in several different flower and bulb catalogs ('Roots and Rhizomes' is probably my favorite. Lots of daylily and hosta pictures.) as well as catalogs such as 'The Pyramid Collection'. (Not sure how I got on that mailing list. I'd guess it's from buying the fairy garden statues through Design Toscano.)

But it just wasn't to be.

Oh well. It's Friday, and I haven't updated the blog for a while. Work is done for the week and now I've got the blog update covered, too. I've been toying with the idea of putting a post on here relating to church and God and the like, but have it from my own perspective...which means it would be slightly twisted like my take on things scientific in nature.

No...I'm not saying God is magnetic.
Although if I spent some time thinking about it, I'm sure I'd figure a way to argue the point.

Anyway, like I'd mentioned around 65 posts ago, I'm not a very good Catholic... if attending church is a defining criteria. Other than that, I feel I'm on pretty good ground with the higher power I believe in.

So sometime soon I'll get a post on here relative to this subject.

If lighting strikes me dead or I get hit by 'The Red Semi That Actually WAS There', then I guess that this particular post wasn't meant to be any more than me attending the cookware party tonight!

And Sheila, (sister. Google Lindemoenratrace for her blog) you're right. February sucks. They should shorten it up another 11 days.

On a final note... Hi, Heidi!
(One of the few people I considered a true friend in high school. She sent a message on Facebook saying she'd stopped by and read my blog and that she misses my humor.)

Ack-O-Matic

My 46 year old Ack-O-Matic boiler had some issues this week.

I went to work early on Sunday morning and when I walked in at 5:30 pm I said, "It's cold in here!"

David said, "I noticed that when I got up this morning."

So after I checked to make sure the pilot light had indeed gone out, and relit said pilot light, I again explained to my kids about how there are certain things that they should really call me about right away.

So Monday comes along and I have a plumber guy come out who installs some new parts in my long-past-intended-useful-life boiler. Amid the noise he made and the noise made by 5 teenagers (no school - snow) who spent the day neutralizing each other on a video game, there wasn't much sleep...although Dangit (the cat) was even more snuggelly than usual and served as a decent source of heat while I was trying to sleep between all the banging and name-calling.

Then, while I was at work on Tuesday, the radio personalities said that some statistic shows that cat people tend to be smarter than dog people...by about 38% or something like that...when factoring in higher education and such.

And last night, while I was at the other job, a stray cat showed up at the building.
"Hmmmmm", I thought to myself. "I think I'll double the educational gap between myself and all of my dog-owning neighbors."

So I ignored the fact that half of my neighbors either currently are or are retired teachers and brought the stray cat home.

It's going to have to be an outside cat for now. It's full of cockle burrs and smells like a barn. Plus, she's not declawed and I'd hate to find that she'd used my dinner table for a scratching post.

I do hope she sticks around. I've decided to name her "Phukoff". That way, when my neighbors are back from Arizona (they go every winter) and the weather is nice, I can walk outside while they're camped out under the canopy of the camper they have (which fills a good portion of my little dead-end street) and say...

"Dangit! Phukoff!"

...and walk back in. :)

Infested

When I was just a wee young lad, I had quite a few Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars.

(Actually, I still have them...somewhere in mom's attic.)

I don't remember how exactly it came about that I now only collect one particular style of car, or why I decided that I was going to go with the Volkswagen beetle - but ever since my pre-teen years I've only collected that particular car, and only in the Johnny Lightning/Hot Wheels/Ertl/Matchbox size.

This was actually a good idea as far as collecting goes. It kept the interest going and it kept the cost down. And even though it's more difficult to find just one type of car, I've still managed to piece together a sizable collection. I have one that's a clock, two that transform into robots, several that have working lights and sirens, one that lifts off the frame, and some with opening hoods and some that change colors depending on the temperature.

Many of them are still in their original packaging.


I have most of them displayed at the Granite Falls Public Library in the display case they have. I had to build 3 additional shelves and still couldn't fit the entire collection in...but it was colorful and looked sweet!

(Val - the one that's actually yours is in there. If you can identify it I'll give it back.) :)

I then added a can of Raid and a can of Hot Shot bug fogger, and placed a sign inside the display with what info I felt like including about myself. (My name and city.)

On the sign, I also added the title for the display - Infested
(Hopefully a few people make the connection.) :)

I should have David swing down and take a picture.

The Fog of Winter

Isn't a nice fog in the middle of winter just fun?!

I spent a good part of Saturday shovelling the snow off my roof in case this next round dumps more on us.

I'm hearing it's supposed to start again by the end of the week, but I'm also hearing it'll most likely miss my area.

Whatever. I'll take either.

But anyway, the break from the cold was sure welcome. And I'm amused by the fog that rolled in over the last couple of day due to this extreme temperature change. (Or whatever it is that causes fog in January.)


As you already know, I do most of my driving at night. I finally switched to mornings at UPS - so now instead of showing up late to Schwan's I just leave early. A bonus to that is that while I'm on my way to Schwan's, many of the cars I meet are driven by people on their way to Intoxication instead of those who have already visited.

And then there was the fog.


I like fog. I like the way it rests in the valleys of the Granite Falls Scenic Overlook when I'm driving home in the mornings. I used to love it when it pooled on the playground back in grade school, causing my feet to disappear. I like it when it hovers just above my car as I'm driving down the road, or when it's all wispy and spread out. And I like how a thick fog can disorientate you and how oncoming cars look like ghostly blobs until the headlights pierce through.


But I really enjoy the unique qualities of a winter fog at night. I like the way the trees on a well lit street or parking lot seem to have extra character, and how the snow covered ground seems somehow beautiful and mysterious, and how the highway signs sort of look like creepy murderous hitchhikers waiting in the dark...

No, wait. Not that one so much. :)

And then, when the fog lifted, the trees and shrubs had a frost on them that made them look they'd been rolled in pure white cotton candy and powdered sugar. It would have made for many excellent pictures. So naturally, I didn't take any. (Sheila, I would have LOVED to have you drive up and take pictures of the kids to put on next years Christmas card. Just one. For me. Unless you'd also take care of sending them out if I bought a bunch of stamps.)


Although I must admit, even with all of the things I DO like about fog, I'll probably scream like a little girl if I ever come up on deer...or anything else that doesn't move...while driving in one of those thick fogs.


And maybe I've seen too many movies, but when I'm driving on a fogless night and I meet an oncoming car...there's many times where both the driver of that car and I will both switch to low-beam at what seems like the exact same time.

It makes me wonder if I'm driving toward a me from a parallel universe or alternate reality and if we'll cancel each other out by sharing the same space at the point where we meet.

That's some scary shit right there!

I don't have to worry about that on a foggy night because most of my doppelgangers will also have their low beams on, thus avoiding the simultaneous switch in beam brightness and bestowing the false sense of security offered by assuming it's yet another someone on their way home from Intoxication.

But now the fog is gone and it's cold again and the little person that lives inside my dashboard is telling me that there's freezing rain and snow coming.

The perfect frost is gone and may soon be replaced by ice, and while this also can look neat...it's hell on the trees, and then the street lights and power lines lob frozen projectiles in my general direction when I pass beneath them.

Oh! It's snowing now! I shall have to fill the Super Soaker with alcohol and anti-freeze in preparation for the upcoming confrontation with the snow gremlins on the power lines with their arsenal of ice missiles.

Little bastards.

Many are the paths of weirdness I let my mind travel upon. :)