The Cat

I never thought that I'd have a house cat, because I've never enjoyed cleaning the house.

One day I was sent a text message from a friend of mine (moving to Rochester) asking, "Do your kids want a snake?"

Well, yeah. If given the choice - they'd probably take the snake.
Me? Not so much. I don't think of snakes as pets. I think of them as rodent and insect control, or the source of occasional amusement when they decide to strike when there's a spinning lawn mower blade above them. If you've never had the experience of dicing a striking snake with a lawn mower, the mental image I'll provide for you is...ChunkChunkChunkChunk!

But anyway, I declined the offer of the snake.
I sent back, "Maybe a cat."

Well, besides the snake and dogs and whatever other critters she had, she also had cats. Their names were "Shitty" and "Dangit". (For some reason, I just now realized that I never asked what she named the other critters. Bummer.)

I ended up with "Dangit". I've since changed the name up a bit. His whole name now is "Dangit MuhMow Wampus". The MuhMow is the sound he makes when he meows, and the last chunk is a shortened version of kittiwampus.
Kitty. Wampus.
See?
Yes?
Whatever.

He doesn't respond to any part of that, or "Here kitty kitty kitty", or anything else I've tried. I'm sure he understands me and chooses to just ignore me, because he definately responds to "GET OFF THE TABLE!"

I have to say, besides that he's a living creature and therefore needs to be fed and needs a litterbox, he's a great cat. He was declawed and "fixed" already, so there was no expense besides picking up a few things that a catless house needs. He doesn't seem to shed at all when compared to any of the farm cats we had when I was a kid, so I've been very pleased, indeed!

Well, Dangit is a house cat. There is no arguing this during the winter, as I don't think he stepped outside even once for the cold months. Now that the temps are back up he's been more inclined to go outside and take care of whatever business house cats have when they go outside.

I asked the kids if they'd ever paid attention to what he does when they let him out.
Nope. They hadn't.

So yesterday, I let him out...and waited.

Sure enough, a fluffy orange cat emerged from the trees next to the patio and slowly approached the house. I'd seen this cat once or twice before.
I call him, "Phukwit". (I'd bet my neighbors don't appreciate this, but they have dogs. Their dogs are stupid. I like dogs, so when I say these dogs are stupid, I mean that they really are stupid dogs. If they can love their stupid dogs they can tolerate whatever name I give the stray cats.)

Anyway, Dangit looks at Phukwit, but rather than wait for the orange cat, he ducks around the corner of the house. I continue to wait and I here him sort of meowing. I can't describe it, but I know there's more of this type of meowing than he can do by himself, so I peek around the corner.

Sure enough, there's Dangit in deep cat plotting with this all black fiend. They're facing each other and I sense they're very much able to understand the noises the other is making. Because of that sound, I've decided to call the black fiend, "WhineyBitch".

I wasn't able to stick around any longer to see if any other "Cat Bosses" were able to gather for this meeting. But, I'm pleased to announce that I have the "popular" cat in the neighborhood. If not that, it appears he's currently the ringleader!