The Jungle

I had these grand plans to get up early and get a lot of yard work accomplished today. (This term being loosely applied. Although I have the smallest house and it's tucked away at the end of the dead-end street, I'm still the primary landowner for the three houses on the block. However, very little of that land would actually be considered "yard".)

I even followed through with the part where I got up early - and I even went right to the work part.

We hauled out 3 loads of branches last weekend and I'm really pleased with how things are looking. 3 or 4 dead trees that I didn't even know were in there were removed, as well as that big half-dead tree that was next to the house. (Sure am glad I found that hard hat along the road one time. It worked. But I seem to have misplaced the gloves I found like those that highwire techs use, so thankfully the branches fell where I wanted them to.) We also took out a couple of the other trees that were not looking very healthy or were growing all weird and blocking the younger, more desirable volunteer trees from growing straight...and a whole lot of the smaller not-quite-lilac-or-flowering-crab trees that were either in the way, ugly, or busted all to shit after the big trees fell on them.

But today it's just me. As of yesterday the kids are at their mom's for the second half of summer.
(She sent a text message that read, "Did you really tell David that he couldn't bring a couple extra pairs of shorts/jeans with? All I have that fit him here are some pjs." ...or something really close to that. I had several immediate responses to that. One was, "Perhaps you'd like to take some of that $5,000 or so you now owe me for past medical and go buy him some instead of supplying your unemployed douchebag with cigarettes...oh, and by the way - Todd needs braces." Another was, "David and I now wear the same size. Perhaps David and unemployed douchebag also wear the same size. Then, at least, unemployed douchebag would finally be contributing something!" And of course, there was the "Oh...phkkng-drop-ded-u-dum-btch!" So many choices. I just couldn't decide which to send back! Instead, I let him take a couple pairs of shorts that had some damage but still looked nice.)

So, it's 8:30 AM today and there's no breeze to speak of and I have to pause now and then from swinging the pickax to dig out roots so I can wipe off the sweat that's dripped onto my glasses.

Then it's 9:30 or so and I've been working on the same small section all morning and am pleased with how things are looking, but would like to speed the process up a bit. I look at the stump sticking out from between the rock crevice it's lodged in . It's sprouted a lot of new growth even though I just cut the damn thing off last weekend. I think it even shot out some new leaves while I was swinging the pickax as it braced it's roots into the rock so I couldn't get at them.

It was becoming a bit of power struggle and I wasn't winning.

So, despite that I know this is NOT something you do with your car... I hooked up the tow strap and enjoyed the instant gratification that might lead to trying it again, and again, and so on until the transmission is wrecked.

I figured I should ponder on that a while, so I did. And it wasn't getting any cooler, and there still was no breeze, and my 64oz mixture of Diet Dew and blue slushy from SA was empty, and the little red light that tells me that I haven't been paying attention to the gas gauge was lit up when I backed up to the tree... so I retrieved the mug and off to the gas station I went.

I pull up to the pump, get out, set the mug on the roof, and am about to grab the nozzle when a voice from another vehicle says, "Excuse me, sir? You're pulling a tow strap."

Oops. Better get out of the heat for a while. ;)