Plus, studies show that you're more inclined to develop health issues, and statistics show that something like half the people you meet on the road after 10pm are under the influence of alcohol, thereby increasing your chances of dying on the way to and from work. But as of today (here in MN) the police can pull you over and ticket you for no other reason than for not having your seatbelt on, so I'll be working on getting in the habit of wearing that. Plus, my cruise control is working again. Hopefully my airbag deployment device also does.
Time to fire up the trolling motor. I've drifted.
Makin' little waves here as we head back to the subject.
One of the benefits to working overnight is that you are not always subject to the same rules and regulations that your daytime counterparts are. Check this out...
So, the boss? He lost half of his index finger at an earlier job many years ago. There's no HighFiving that guy. It's more of a GimmeFourAndaHalf!
"So for clarification purposes, do you need 5 gallons of vanilla...or 4 gallons and 1 half gallon?"
And more stuff like that.
It makes me wonder - if the opposable thumbs were both missing, would he still be human? Or does he then fall in with the monkey group?
Or how 'bout the middle finger? If part is missing, is the missing part the "F" or the "U"?
Either way, you wouldn't be able to not laught at someone who used that particular hand gesture with only part of the middle finger there.
As for the other members of the crew...
We have a Johnson on the crew. We call him "Tiny".
We have the high school dropout.
We have the crotchety old fart that swears a steady stream of curses while he works, throws his hands in the air a lot, and is about the jumpiest and easiest person to startle that I've ever seen. I've had a lot of fun with him. :)
Then we have the guy who's missing one of his eyes due to an accident that occured in his youth. The lesson there is "Don't play with knives - unless you wear glasses."
Of course, there are a million things you can say to a person who's missing an eye if they have a sense of humor about it. "Arrrggghhh!!!", "Bet you didn't SEE that coming!", "LOOK OUT!" etc.
I think my favorite is the smiley face drawing Missing Finger Guy gave Missing Eye Guy. It looked like this. -> .) There is definitely a sick mind at work there. Made me happy.
Last week, somehow Missing Eye Guy's fake eye fell out and bounced across the floor. I didn't see it happen and he had it back in before I heard about it, but I asked him if we could use if for a hackey sack on break. Then I asked if he could pop it out and put in one of those plastic containers you get out of a quarter machine, because that would look cool if you put odd stuff in it. He chuckled, and said it's not shaped right, and explained the process of how a fake eye is made - which was actually quite interesting!
We have the older guy who does everything other than what's actually important to get done at the moment. We had a bit of a go around when I first started but get along smashingly now. (I pointed out that it doesn't mean I'm not doing more than he is just because I'm not wasting time will all sorts of useless movements.) So now we get along great and talk of gardens. Plus, he's a war vet. You have to respect him no matter what for that.
We have one person of non-Caucasian origins. He once asked what the civil war was fought over. We told him "Oil". He believed us. I later asked him if anyone gave him a different answer to his question and he said it's in the past and he didn't care. I didn't want him to get beat up my his family and friends so I told him that as a black person he should probably know the answer. He asked, "Why do you have say black? Why can't you say Native American?"
Ummm...cause your not a Native American?Doesn't say much for whatever school in New York he went to. The cracks were big. He fell through.
We discuss important things at work. Things like, "Does the lightning come down from the sky or up from the ground?", or medical stuff like bleeding gums or if you're really dead when you have no vitals but are still able to be brought back, or "If you can't wear white after Labor Day, when can you start wearing it again?"
Every time we actually have a real conversation, New York's argument is so completely backwards that even the high school dropout shakes his head in awe at the stupidity.
We've decided that the police should go do his mom's door - and instead of telling her that her son is dead, tell her that she failed. Horribly.
As for me, I get a lot of crap for not following sports, and for my inability to catch anything that's not shaped like a box, and for working there at all since I have a college degree.
As for that last part, I have to agree with them. And maybe I'll have to speed up the process of getting a daytime job where I can't tell the boss whatever I'm thinking at the moment and still be employed the next day.
The reason is this. Boy 1 likes a girl. I haven't met this girl yet, so I asked Boy 2 about her. He said, "She's hot." I asked if she was another (insert name, which is interchangeable with "person who's always in some kind of trouble") like the last girl he liked. He said, "Yeah, probably. She sneaks out of her house at midnight."
Which is just what I need. I'm gone and he likes a girl that sneaks out of her house.
I reckon I'll have to talk to the boy.
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